So Now We Are Fighting About Pickleball, Eh? Outlets for Conflict In Chicago Are At a Low
There is a bit of a dry spell on conflict in Chicago. We are over the brunt of the pandemic, the vaccination/mask debate has quelled, it’s not an election year, and the Chicago Teacher’s Union contract is not yet up for re-negotiation. There is not a side to choose, someone to make wrong or a clear path for being right.
Whoa, what are we going to do!?
In my neighborhood groups have taken to fighting about pickleball play in parks. That’s right. There is an “us versus them” dynamic around pickleball players and space for children to play in parks. Hundreds of people have signed a petition called, “Save Chicago’s Bauler Park from the Pickleball Takeover,” and hundreds more have signed a petition called, “Save Pickleball at Chicago’s Bauler Park.” It has been covered by both the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Sun Times.
So, what is the debate about, and why is it sufficiently relevant to take space within two major news publications? We don’t really know. Or, at least it is not covered by the Times or the Tribune. The best we have is that someone snatched a ball from a kid, and someone else allegedly called a child an expletive.
Newsworthy topics for debate may dry up. But the appetite for “us versus them” never dies. Major news outlets know this. We subscribe.
What is most apparent from the coverage is what is not said. The coverage does not include what the parents or the pickleball players actually need, why they can’t figure it out or what is being done to reach resolution. But why should precise points of debate be detailed in the press coverage? Articulated points of debate are not the core reasons for the dispute, anyway. And it is also not the reason we choose to read the article or invest in the story or the dynamic for ourselves. To talk about what people actually need, or how to reach cooperative solutions would be, well - boring. There is no internal dopamine kick for that! Readers want something more. And so do the parties to the conflict.
The closest description to what is actually happening is provided by a park advisory council member who is quoted by the Sun Times as sharing, “Emotions are elevated.” The reality is that this is all that is actually happening. Human emotional energy is the driver and core of every conflict, and it perpetuates more of itself as one blow leads to the next. Even if we did not start the fight, if we hold the energy, an act of conflict will trigger our reaction without more. And the energy of conflict that perpetuates this dispute is no different than debates we have around the pandemic, politics and other issues.
As I have shared previously, disputes are not solved by disputing because disputing is just a perpetuation of the same emotional energy without change. We choose conflict because we fear someone else, their choices or their actions. Conflict is driven by feelings of fear, scarcity, lack, greed, apathy, guilt or shame. Conflict is never driven by courage, neutrality, acceptance, peace or love - these are actually the more powerful energies of expansion, abundance and creation. We can lay down our weapons in compromise, but we only achieve true peace if we can transmute the underlying energy of conflict into a different form.
What is more, the human emotional energy of conflict comes from within each of us who participates, invests or perpetuates conflict through our thoughts, intentions, words or actions. Oftentimes the source of our energy of conflict derives from ruptures from our childhood, unhealed trauma or other unresolved or repressed feelings from our past. Many of us repeat patterns of conflict in relationships and scenarios throughout our lives until we can find the original source and move the energy. Regardless of the source, the resolution of the energy of conflict can only be undertaken by the humans who hold it.
You can read more about the energy of conflict here, and stay tuned for more on methodologies for conflict resolution and peacebuilding. For now, I encourage the pickleball players, parents of children, community members and others who have invested in this dynamic or similar scenarios to take a pause and tune into only yourself. What are you feeling and where do you feel it in your body? Do this without judgment and while dropping any focus on the story, facts, people, victims or blame. This introspection is the path for identifying your own energy of conflict. It is also the path for resolving any dispute and building peace in our world.
#humanevolution #conflictresolution #peacebuilding #communitybuilding