“Ego Specialness” is the idea that we derive merit, worth, honor or respect from our contradistinction to other individuals or groups. Hierarchy, rank, and exclusive status persist because of an egoistic need to stand separate from others. It is a striving to lift ourselves. But it is not born from self-love.
Percentile rankings, gated communities, exclusive associations, airline status, VIP entrances, red carpets, designer labels, beauty pageants and more are constructed from the idea that fulfillment can be contrived from specialness. The perception that specialness yields happiness, wealth or worth is baked into our education systems and permeates industries from healthcare to wellness, finance and more. It is the backbone of marketing and advertising strategy. It is the premise of the American dream.

I previously described a neighborhood pickleball controversy here as a low-stakes example for understanding the energy of conflict and pathways for resolution. Parents and pickleball players are engaged in an “us versus them” dynamic around park space. But the conflict is not about pickleball, because conflict never derives from external facts, arguments or people. Rather, conflict ensues from the emotional energy of fear, scarcity, lack, greed, shame, insecurity, pride or similar dense, contracted emotional energy held by humans.

We cannot solve a dispute by disputing.

I spent eighteen years building a practice as a civil litigator. I graduated from law school cum laude, made partner, developed niche expertise, attracted clients and earned national recognition. And then last year I stepped away from the career and identity that I had held so dear. The traditional practice of dispute resolution is built on a faulty foundation.

The Barbie movie cleverly packages heavy topics like patriarchy and gender equality as easy nostalgia and entertainment. It’s like a dose of the amoxicillin antibiotic when it comes in the pink bubble-gum suspension: you don’t appreciate that it’s killing pathogens because it’s yummy. But what you get from the movie depends on how deep you are willing to go. The movie is an invitation to consider and question how we unwittingly facilitate a world driven by fear and insecurity, and what this means for our relationships and ourselves.

Spinnaker sailing is a beautiful sight. The spinnaker is the billowing, graceful sail at the very front of the boat. It provides a parachute lift when sailing downwind.

This article explores how the methodology for achieving peace is not rooted in political strategies or power dynamics, but rather in the energy that we hold as individuals, combined with the courage we possess to transmute it. Humans are the receptacles and tools for amplifying and spreading either peace or conflict, much like a contagious virus.

There is a bit of a dry spell on conflict in Chicago. We are over the brunt of the pandemic, the vaccination/mask debate has quelled, it’s not an election year, and the Chicago Teacher’s Union contract is not yet up for re-negotiation. There is not a side to choose, someone to make wrong or a clear path for being right.


Whoa, what are we going to do!?

To actualize peace in our world, we must first understand the meaning and value of peace. Peace is not a cease fire or a compromise. It is not something that might ensue after a dispute or conflict has run its course. And it is not something to settle for. These are limited and misconstrued interpretations of peace. We can claim much more.

Today we face an inescapable fact: every economy, industry, business, community, family and individual is threatened by an unprecedented pandemic. For the first time in recent history, there is a real and immediate necessity for selfless interdependence and collaboration among individuals, communities and nations – and a consequent need for leadership. But the “leadership” that is required by this pandemic is not simply a wielding of power, or a keen sense of political strategy. Rather the unique characteristics of the COVID-19 pandemic compel two key, interrelated components of leadership: (1) the de-prioritization of short-term or egoistic interests, and (2) a global and humanitarian consciousness that prioritizes the well-being of all over the privilege of few. Some will swiftly rise to meet this challenge because they naturally embody these two principles in their character and ideologies. But others will delay and fail. In the end, much will be revealed, and these revelations will inform a transformed polity and world.